Why private school is the best way for us

Case study

"James was lost in the state system"

“In primary school James appeared happy, but wouldn't admit if he had a problem,” says his mother, Gail Purves, of High Wycombe. “When a class assistant said that some children go through school without anyone knowing they're there, I realised she'd described James. One of his friends had moved to a private school, Claires Court in Maidenhead, and was extremely happy, so we had a look around.

“We were impressed by the school's desire to determine every pupil's strengths and play to them. With James it was sport. Shortly after joining he was made captain of the rugby team which really boosted his confidence. His self-esteem grew and he improved all-round, winning a scholarship to the upper school.

“Moving James when he was 10 was extremely beneficial and I'd recommend it to others. The advantages far outweighed the financial commitment,” says Gail. “There were more sports, clubs and extra-curricular activities. Discipline was strong and respect for authority was clearly apparent.

James clearly loved his time at Claires Court: “The school was fantastic and I felt at home instantly because my friend Richard was there. It's run by a father and son team, the Wildings, who have a beautiful house and acres of land with facilities. The atmosphere was friendly and encouraging and I think the low pupil to teacher ratio really helped.”

Case study

"Noah was overwhelmed by the kindness of other children"

“Without question, moving Noah was the right decision,” says Julie Frost of Alnwick in Northumberland. “The teaching was poor at his primary school, there was a lack of structure in the classroom and bullying wasn't acknowledged. 

“There's only one private school in our area but it was highly recommended. The cost was a concern but my parents agreed to help financially and, after the school had assessed Noah socially and academically, he was accepted. He was so much happier and was overwhelmed by the kindness of the other children, who seemed more respectful of their peers and the world around them.

“The teachers seemed more relaxed, there was greater parental support and discipline and I liked the holistic approach. However, the classes became too small as he moved up the school and, with only one child in Year 8, we decided to move him back into the state system. He's sporty and needs the opportunities that larger class sizes can offer.”

Case study

"Ruby is absorbing everything like a sponge"

Sometimes children request the change, feeling that they will do better in the private system. Claire Goodall has more experience than most having moved all three of her children – Charlotte, 18, and Sébastien, 16, to Oundle School in Northamptonshire, and Ruby, 9, to Laxton (Oundle Junior School) as day pupils.

“Although the children were doing well, there were gaps in their education,” says Claire. “The transition was massive but Oundle School was fantastically supportive. Sébastien went from a five-day week of short school days to a six-day week of long days, around three hours of homework a night plus extra sport, music and trips. He's a different person now, confident, disciplined and open to new ideas, with a great sense of who he is and where he wants to go.

“Some of Charlotte's old friends took offence when she moved school and she had to reassure them she was the same person. She found she hadn't studied the same syllabus and this knocked her confidence, but she worked hard and has become a much stronger individual.

“Ruby is absorbing everything like a sponge,” says Claire, adding, “it comes at a price though. Life is hectic and my husband works incredibly hard, but we tell the children they're having their inheritance early!”

Case study

"I don't feel guilty about sending Tom to private school. Why should I?"

What happens when a family is divided between state and private schooling? Jacqui Wright, an IT manager from Middlesex, felt that she was right to make a stand on schooling for her son, Tom (13): "After a disappointing report at the end of last year and the worry that Tom was getting in with some quite rough kids, I felt that we should move him into a private senior school. My husband wasn't keen, and his parents tutted, but I felt that it was such an important time in his life and we had to act.

"The local state school doesn't have a great reputation. Tom wanted to go to there with his mates, but we talked about it and I asked him to visit a few private schools with me and see what he thought. He liked one in particular (an ex grammar school with fantastic sports facilities) and said he'd give it a try as a day pupil, although we agreed if he was really unhappy we'd look at other schools.

"The first few weeks were difficult, and he missed his crowd from middle school. Recently, though, I've seen a change in him. He's got in with a nice group of lads through football and that has really helped. He's enjoying his lessons now, especially ICT (takes after his mum!) and Design and Technology. He seems to have more drive and wants to take part in some of the afterschool clubs, in particular web design.

"My husband now concedes that moving Tom was the right thing to do, although it did cause tension between us for a while. I don't care what other people think and I certainly don't feel guilty about doing this. Why should I? The local state schools are a lottery - you just take your chances and hope for the best. If the LEA can't provide a good education, I have to take the situation into my own hands.

"Friends and family can tut all they like. Ultimately, I want the best for my son."