Dear Agony Aunt: What should I expect from my child’s new school in the first few weeks of the first term?

If your child has just started at a new school, then you are likely to have a host of questions buzzing around your mind. How is my child settling? Is he making friends? Is the work in lessons at the right level for her? Is he being stretched? What are the classes like and how are the dynamics affecting her? A whole host of practical questions can rise to the surface: on whcih day do swimming lessons take place? Which PE kit is needed and when? How do you find out about matches? What help should you be giving with homework? All of these questions boil down to a natural single question that all parents are bound to ask and are right to ask: essentially, how is my child getting on?

Be patient in your quest for answers! Schools in the first few weeks of the new school year are incredibly busy places, as they organise hundreds of pupils into following new routines, sorting out glitches in timetables, and setting up all their students into good working patterns for the rest of the year. The beginning of term is often a time of high emotion – from anxiety to euphoria -  particularly for children who have just changed school, and the school will also be seeking to manage this calmly and sensibly. In amongst all of this turbulence, your child’s teachers are working hard to instil new knowledge and develop new learning skills, and as a parent you will want to ensure that they put their effort into this above all, and that you do not unwittingly prove a distraction from the core activity of the school, and from what you really want them to spend time doing with your child.

This said, any school worth its salt will have anticipated most of the questions you are likely to want answered, and will have communicated with you in advance. A list of practical details is the very least you should expect from a school ahead of the start of term, with regular updates as systems change and timetables kick in. Check your child’s school website, too – often this can be a reassuring first port of call when you have a query. If you need to ask about something, then an email covering all of your questions is often the most efficient way of communication – and far better than a word with teachers at the beginning or end of the day, which are notoriously busy times. Even better – do encourage your child to develop greater independence by finding out the answers for him or herself. While you may in the end also have to check yourself, at least you can take comfort in the fact that you are contributing to the educational process.

Most parents, quite rightly, want to know about their child’s progress, to check that this is on track. You should also have been told by the school at what point you are likely to hear first about your child’s progress – both academic and pastoral - and how this information will be communicated to you. Will you receive a grade sheet at the end of the first month? Or a phone call from your child’s Tutor? Or is there an Open Forum coming up when you can meet your child’s teachers and find out how things are going? If you don’t know or don’t have this clear in your mind, then ask – even just the expectation that you will hear soon may help ease your apprehension. Do remember, of course, that it will take a week or so for your child’s teachers to get the measure of him or her, and certainly for them to be able to assess the level of progress that he or she is making; rushing into asking for information will almost certainly result in vague and inconclusive information which you will find unsatisfactory and frustrating!

So do be patient … but equally, do not accept inadequate communication, and do not feel that you cannot contact your child’s school. If you are worried about something, or if your child seems unhappy, then speak to someone at the school straight away. You should receive a warm and understanding response, for schools know all too well the very valid concerns that parents can have about their children, especially when they are embarking on a new stage in their lives. A good school will ease your concerns and reassure you – and together you can help make the start of the new academic year a very positive one for your child.